Before there was texting there was the art of passing notes. Experts who are teachers and teenagers report that the artform has not completely died, but is on life support. What made the notes special and what can we learn from them?
Note Genres
There were various types of notes that Gen X passed in school. The sub genres are almost countless, but most of them fell into a few succinct categories. They were as follows:
- Love Notes
- Gossip Notes
- Question Notes
- Help/Advice Notes
- Funny/Joke Notes
- Secret Messages
- Passing the Note Chain Notes
Love notes, gossip notes, and funny joke notes are pretty self explanatory. But for those who are not familiar with the artform we need to unpack the others.
Chain notes begin with one person writing an open ended question and handing it to a friend. That friend responded and passed the note to the next person to add their response. It was a simple strategy and when the originator got it back the results were not only oftentimes funny, but also deep and sublime.
Secret messages were more intimate and sometimes used code. D&D players used languages from species in the game (my diary was in Elvish). Some hand wrote morse code. There were many other varieties of coding and decoders and invisible inks to be read later by blacklight. You could say the most intimate things in your heart free of parents, teachers and siblings lacking a cypher!
Help/Advice Notes were deeper in depth and were given to the most trusted of friends. Sometimes it would be simple things like homework help, but it is amazing how deep some of these would go. Gen X did not have the resources and ease of access to information and there were some things you did not want the librarian or school counselor to see. So if you thought you were pregnant, might have an SDT, been a victim of abuse or sexual assault, you passed a note for help and advice.
Question Notes had the most crossover into other genres but could also be one of it’s own. It was a one person poll that could communicate succinctly something deep or fun. It was often check marks for multiple choice or a yes or no to circle and pass back. The most popular example is: “Do You Like Me? Yes or No”
Note Formats
Notes came in different formats depending on the purpose and the length.
Simple Fold: The simple fold ranged in everything from the bi fold, the tri fold, and many rectangle or square variations. The quick in class exchange was mostly a small bi fold. You could make it on the fly, palm it, and hand it off.
Triangle: The triangle was the second most popular. You folded the paper into a triangle. Most Gen X youth learned this skill in elementary school to make paper triangle footballs you would “kick” with a finger through the “goal posts” of your friend’s extended index fingers bridged with two thumbs. When you did the triangle it was a sign of care, secrecy, and import. You took your time to fold it, it meant what was inside took thought and care as well.
Write & Tuck: The write and tuck took more skill than the triangle, but was relatively easy to master and had an almost envelope look and feel to it like a letter you would get in the mail. To open it, all you had to do was unravel the bottom right corner of the rectangle and open your note.
Pull Here: Pull here was a variation of the write and tuck that took a little more skill in the folding. With the pull here there was a tab in the center of the rectangle. You pulled the tab and the page unfolded and opened to be read.
The Heart: The heart was another variation of the write and tuck. With the heart you folded the write and tuck into the shape of a heart. This was very popular for love notes and in high circulation during Valentine’s Day, Homecoming, and Prom Season!
Origami: Origami was the rite of the most artistic among us in the school. Those who knew the art of origami would send their notes in an elegantly folded fortune teller, crane, lotus, or other lovely creation. When you received the origami note you not only felt special, but you took great care in unfolding it so you could carefully refold it to preserve it later. The origami was not just a note, it was also a gift.
The Old Fashion: The old fashion was for longer notes that had multiple pages. This would be multiple paged in a bi fold or tri fold delivered as is or in a traditional envelope. In modern times this was an email where the other notes were a text. Due to the long form nature, it did not have the luxury of the whimsical folds, but it was more intimate and important than the others for the ink on the page was the bleeding of one’s soul to another.
Note Delivery
The delivery of the note was important. There were many variation of delivery, but these were the most common forms of delivery.
Pass in Class: The pass in class was done in the classroom during class. It was the riskiest of deliveries. The adrenaline rush and dopamine infused thrill was part of the excitement. The dangers of the pass in class were many! If it were intercepted by a teacher it would be read aloud by the teacher in class. If intercepted by a classmate the contents would be known my virtually everyone by the end of the school day! And if too many people saw note passing between two classmates, there could also be rumor notes made about you two. It was the most dangerous, but it was also the most exhilarating.
Hallway Handoff: The hallway handoff made you feel like a spy. In the hallway hand off you surreptitiously handed the person the note in the hallway between classes. It was smooth and it was quick. It is hard to explain how you knew you were the recipient of a hallway handoff, but you knew, you were ready, and the handoff felt so slick you believed no CIA or KGB operative sure to be in your school for some reason would be the wiser the hand off happened.
The Courier: Sometimes the note’s recipient would not share classes or hallways or cliques with you. Sometimes they might even be in a different high school on the other side of town or the next town over. You needed a courier that lives in both worlds. The courier was a trusted source who took the role seriously.
You knew the courier was going to deliver and the courier enjoyed the responsibility and almost never breached trust. They knew the sacred duty and there was an unwritten oath with honor deeper than a Canadian Mountie or a Pony Express runner. The letter would get to the source regardless the distance or the trials. The courier was the unsung hero of the high school.
The Drop: The drop was a safe space to drop the letter where only the intended recipient would get it. In many high schools the drop was the locker. Lockers had vents or a gap where you would slide a note in and the person would get it the next time they went to the locker. The drop was simple to do and the recipient of the drop, if they were already in note communication with you or dating you, always had a thrill seeing a note in their locker.
Why the Note Mattered
Most people in western culture have cell phone today. The average phone has 18 apps installed and of those, a little less than half have some form of message mechanism to talk to others instantly. I am sure there is still a thrill texting someone while in class. But teens in the 80’s did not have that instant communication readily available and when they went home, most did not have computers to talk to others when they got home. Telephones existed, but there were zones and the further the zone the higher the phone bill was.
The note offered an alternative form of communication. You thought out what you wanted to say before you wrote it. You had a short amount of space to say what you wanted to say. Thoughtful communication makes for a better message. As a teenager in the midst of the hell of adolescence you had things burning inside you that needed expression in a world full of repression. This was an avenue to express yourself to someone and be heard. Most teenagers were going through something and had the same yearning (still do) and if you got a note, you wanted to give a note back in most cases.
A common part of the teenage experience was to save the notes you got in a safe space like a shoebox in your closet or a special drawer. Sometimes you would re read your favorites and that note would become dog eared and tattered as a well loved message. It was a reminder that you were not alone.
Taking pen to paper, folding it, picking a delivery method, and curating the notes you received was expression, art, and communication. Like the subversive art of the Mix Tape, these multiple disciplines that collided in the note contained the goal of being seen, heard, and mattering. You did not take communication for granted when it was not instantaneous.
What Can We Learn?
There are some who always think the answer is to “bring it back”. That sometimes works, but it often is a novelty that lasts for a season and then ends. But there are some things we can learn that make the road ahead in life more poignant and special.
Be intentional in what you send to someone. The AI prompts in the bottom of your chat or messaging app are there because the canned responses we have are automatic to our experience and the sender and receiver are missing the beauty of each other when we are on auto pilot.
Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Take a beat and compose before you compose what you have to say.
Delivery matters. Maybe we cannot fold a text, but we can still add something else. A font, a color, well curated emojis or GIFS or stickers.
And maybe we cannot bring back the lost art of the notes completely, but there is still room for a note neatly folded and snuck into a purse or a desk…maybe even a trusted courier.
Storytime: The Scroll and the Squire
When I was 20 there was an 18 year old woman that I kept bumping into since I was 19. One day it was a mini golf course, a few months later it was a Halloween party while I was on a blind date, the third time was at a cast party for a local production of something where we both had mutual friends. She was fascinating and we kept meeting each other in random places never knowing we lived 3 blocks away from one another.
She was an aspiring model in her senior year of high school with a unique fashion flare. It was renaissance chic? While the early 90’s had variety of cliques, her aesthetic was unique. Conversation? Refreshingly insightful, intelligent, and funny. Everything she said was interesting and she listened when you spoke. And her smile? Oh holy shit that smile could own a room!
I was smitten and this was the first time since I had had lost my girlfriend “Cassie” that I felt a spark with someone. In that almost two year gap I had dated other girls/women, but this was different…special. She was special. I felt a connection or at least the possibility of connection with every encounter we had. I wanted to ask her out and it had to be done with the note to end all notes. It was going to be a scroll and it would be delivered by a goddamn squire!
I composed my note with care. A woman like this could have anyone she wanted and my romance muscle atrophied! The stakes were high. I had paid attention though. I knew she had an interest in D&D, fantasy, mythology, and certain literature. I took the cues she gave me and went to work after power reading some Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman.
It started with: “To the Fair Maiden (first name) of the House of (last name)” and then went on to have cues of renaissance era with a dash of Victorian faire and some humor.
I then had a friend who knew calligraphy write the copy on real parchment paper which I then rolled into a scroll wrapped in a ribbon.
A courier would not be interesting enough. I needed a squire! My squire dressed the role and had a script we rehearsed.
On bended knee he delivered the scroll to her with his speech. As she took the scroll she was handed a quill (ballpoint) pen, I believe it was red. She would have to respond. And respond she did!
My faithful friend and trusted squire delivered it back to me.
The words were only a few sentences, but I do remember her writing, “Only a fool would reject such a glorious offer and I pride myself on not being a fool!”
Was it the greatest love story ever told? Were we destined for wonder and become the love story for the ages? No.
But we had fun, we shared some beautiful moments, funny moments, and poignant moments. She was a very special part of my life and I am grateful for the light she turned on without knowing she did that. I had kept people, especially romantic partners, at arms length after Cassie. I let someone in and enjoyed the moments of life and was present.
A smile and a certain amazing je ne sais pas that was authentic, mysterious, curious, and mischievous broke through and intoxicated me for several months. With that awaking came the first note I had given to someone in almost 2 years.
That note “got the girl”, but it did more than that. I reached out to someone. I spoke the things I was afraid to say, thought about what I wanted to say, asked friends to help me, and invited a response!
An empty vessel filled and dared to be a romantic and a poet. And in the end of it all I made a friend decades after the delightful brief flame ended.
She was one of the dandelions that infested my garden with the right things to choke the weeds of fundamentalism that poisoned my garden.
I am grateful to have her as a friend in this life. There are few I assign that title to. Acquaintances and lovers have come and gone, but my friends are everything and the best assets in the social equity portfolio that makes me a richer man than any crass and soulless billionaire who can only take and never give.
That is my greatest note memory and the power of a note that no text or email or DM can ever achieve!
Tell me about your favorite note memories. And go send someone a note! Let me know how it goes!
Stay totally awesome!
Stay True to You!
Help Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World and Get a Free Book!
Ford is a traumatized former child model. Cassie is the epitome of DIY punk with a life full of poverty and pain serving smoothies at the Orange Julius. Finally there is Jenny, a young preppy with talent and dreams held back by a society not designed for women like her.
As their lives intersect in the late 1980’s at the Fox Valley Mall in Aurora, Illinois, there will be love, confusion, and dangerous adversaries with wealth and power. Ford, Cassie and Jenny just have each other. Will it be enough? How do they survive as Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World?
By going to the indiegogo, you can not only secure yourself advance copies of the book, special merch, and experiences, but you get to help provide copies to teens that live in shelters and seek resources in community centers. You also provide opportunities for ASL translators at our speaking events about this wonderful book. Go to the link, get your copy, and help others!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/be-part-of-the-hearts-of-glass-story-and-mission/x/38415051#
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