On October 16th of 1981, The Human League began the second British Invasion with the release of their third album ‘Dare!’ Two of the founding members left. Front man Phillip Oakley was at the helm and in a do or die moment. The album would either be a new chapter or the end of Human League and him. He chose to make synth New Wave a little less avant garde to expose New Wave to a broader commercial audience. What happened next defined a genre and changed the face of music. At the unexpected lead of this charge was the 4th single released a little more than a month after the album released. The song? “Don’t You Want Me Baby?”
Don’t You Want Me Baby
The initial inspiration for the song came when Phillip Oakley read a picture story book for teen girls. It was about a man who met a waitress and they fall in love. The song gained greater complexity when he saw the movie musical “A Star is Born” starring Barbara Streisand and Kris Kristofferson. Now instead of a love story sung by a guy who met a waitress, we have something different. Dark undertones of jealously, manipulation, and a power imbalance. The story is now a woman walking away with strength and dignity. He will try to keep her with demands, threats, and the begging almost obsessive question, “Don’t you want me?”
It also has a great beat!
In a 2016 episode of BBC’s ‘Top of the Pops’ Phillip Oakley revealed he did not want this fourth single released. In short time 3 singles had been released. The band was popular and the album was working. This song could derail that and change perceptions of the band. In a 2001 Eamon Holmes GMTV interview, he said that it was “a nasty song about sexual power politics.”
But the nasty song about sexual power politics hit the UK charts at #9 and within a week rose to #1. It became the biggest selling single of 1981 and the fifth best selling single of the decade. The band, especially Oakley, was shocked and a little bewildered. Six months later it would repeat history in the US and this New Wave hit would lead the new British invasion.
We were served “a devastating chronicle of a frayed romance wrapped in the greatest pop hooks and production of its year” and we consumed it voraciously. We made it platinum in the UK and Canada and gold in the US.
Dark Fantasies
We are obsessed with the dark and macabre. Halloween showcases with delight our love of so many amazing and scary things. Kimberly Thalia took us on an amazing journey from scary vampires to sexy vampires. Those dalliances into the darkness also include a fascination with toxic relationships.
The couple in this song, Jack and Ally, Joker and Harley, Bella and Edward, Belle and the Beast, and Breakfast Club‘s Bender and Claire barely scratch the surface. We love a toxic relationship story. It fascinates us and it fascinated Philip Oakley. What is different about Oakley is that after his craving for creation was satisfied, he saw what he wrote and they recorded in a different light. And to understand that I think we need to understand a little more about Phillip Oakley and his relationship to his bandmates Joanne Catherall and Susanne Sulley.
Healthy Reality
When the other founding members of the Human League left, they left 26 year old Oakley with a band name that carried debt and a legal obligation to Virgin Records. He had days to form a new band or face dire fiscal and legal consequences that were not his doing. Desperate, he went to a club in Sheffield called the Crazy Daisy. He saw Catherall and Sulley dancing together. They stood out from all the other girls in the club due to their fashion sense, immaculate make-up, and sophisticated dance moves. Could they sing? Did they want to be in a band?
He struck up a conversation with them. They knew who he was. He had a reputation in the area, it was a good and kind one. They were also fans of the band and had tickets for an upcoming show. Being 17 and 18, they wanted to be in the band. But their parents had to sign off on it for Virgin to be able to use them. They refused. What changed their minds? Phillip Oakley met with both sets of parents, likely in his trademark high heels and make up, and assured them that no harm would come to their daughters under his watch. They trusted him. That trust was not a mistake. Without control or ego he made them joint business partners and to this day they are still touring and creating.
The toxic “love” stories are fascinating to read about are deadly in real life. The healthy ones are what moves us forward and breathes life. Enjoy a good, but dark fantasy, but make your reality one with equal partnerships in business, in friendship, and in love.
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