I couldn’t sleep so I took a drive just now. Then I deleted what I was going to publish, and wrote this instead. I’m not sure what this is going to become, but the drive felt peaceful and I was awash with familiar memories which grounded me to be present. Gary Neuman was on the radio somewhere along I55 and Rt 30.
If you grew up in the 1980s, cruising in muscle cars was more than a hobby… it defined your weekends. Friday nights meant cleaning your ride, loading your favorite cassette tape, and hitting the main strip in town… whether it was Main Street or Woodward Avenue. We had Mustangs, Camaros, Firebirds, Chargers, and sometimes even Dad’s Chevelle if you promised not to put a scratch on it.
For me from Senior year until I was 20 it was my blue 1977 Monte Carlo with a sunroof. It wasn’t always the fastest on the strip, but sliding open that sunroof on a warm summer night and feeling the cool air rush in made every drive unforgettable.
Soundtracks of Control: Gary Numan’s ‘Cars’
Gary Numan’s synth-heavy anthem “Cars” always resonated deeply with me. As he sang, “Here in my car, I feel safest of all,” it echoed exactly how I felt behind the wheel. In that Monte Carlo, I felt in control, insulated from life’s chaos. Being in my car, I could dictate my environment, who was with me, what we listened to, and where we went. It provided a rare sense of security and control and freedom in life during a time when life often felt unpredictable and uncontrollable. The Monte Carlo became my sanctuary, a refuge from everything uncertain outside its sturdy frame.
Nights to Remember
One summer night remains especially vivid. Parked on the sand by Lake Michigan with my girlfriend in the summer of ’88. The radio played softly, sunroof open wide to catch the summer breeze. We talked for hours under the endless stretch of stars. We shared dreams, fears, and promises, suspended in a moment that felt eternal. It wasn’t about the future—it was about us, right then and there, safe and untouchable. Despite uncertain realities the possibilities felt as endless as the night and her kiss.
There was more that night, but the rest of it is deeply personal. Let’s move on…
There were so many memories in that car. One unforgettable night in Joliet was fall of ’88. My friends and I were cruising carefree until flashing lights appeared in my mirrors. Heart racing, adrenaline surging, I floored it on Chicago Ave. I swerved sharply into a shadowy alley, killed the lights, and held my breath as the cop flew past. The entire event lasted less than a minute! The exhilaration of that close call fueled countless retellings of that night from me and everyone in the car, each retelling more exaggerated than the last.
Another favorite destination was the Naperville Riverwalk, a beautiful stretch of paths and lights reflecting off the water. It was the perfect place to park the Monte Carlo, pop open the sunroof, and meet friends to stroll along the softly illuminated pathways or simply lean against the railing of the wooden bridges and watch life drift by. It was our meeting spot, our hangout, the backdrop to countless heartfelt conversations and memorable nights. It was also the spot of more than one first kiss in the 80’s.
The True Heart of the Cruise
Cruising wasn’t just about the car, though it was undeniably central to my adolescent sense of safety and freedom. It was realization that even though everything felt out of control, there were things I could control and spaces I could feel safe in. It was about connection. Those evenings bonded me to others in ways that seem elusive now.
Back then, my interactions didn’t happen through screens and it was more scary and more sublime. As socially awkward as I was there was laughter, hugs, and high-fives, and our “posts” were conversations leaning against car hoods.. especially my Monte, whose sunroof offered the perfect vantage point for stargazing and late-night heart-to-heart chats. Authentic connection demanded courage that I did not know I had; I risked embarrassment or rejection in real-time almost every time, making each encounter unforgettable. Sometimes that unforgettable was sublime, and other times it was horrific. I remember them both in this moment.
There were lessons that I realized I had learned back then as I was pulling up to my home shortly before writing this.
Lessons about friendship, love, courage, vulnerability, controlling what you can, and the importance of authentic experiences while being here now. I learned how to navigate relationships without shortcuts, how to communicate openly, and how meaningful moments come from genuine interactions. They are lessons that I almost forgot until I started writing about them this last year.. as well as tonight.
The Road Ahead: Hearts of Glass
Reflecting on these memories fills me with nostalgic anticipation as I prepare to release my upcoming book, Hearts of Glass: Living in the Real World. In it, the main character drives a very similar blue 1977 Monte Carlo with the sunroof. The color and the car’s very existence is an important plot point towards the end. Writing the story and driving about tonight has transported me back to my own real-life adventures, reminding me once more how powerful nostalgia can be in reconnecting us to who we were… and if we are mindful and healthy about that, we can take a beat and see who we truly are.
Who I was and who Kathy was is not who Ford and Cassie are, but they are kind of like us, and a little bit like you and that other person you are thinking of right now.
Ford is a traumatized former child model. Cassie is the epitome of DIY punk with a life full of poverty and pain serving smoothies at the Orange Julius. There is also Jenny, a young preppy with talent and dreams held back by a society not designed for women like her.
As their lives intersect in the late 1980’s at the Fox Valley Mall in Aurora, Illinois, there will be love, confusion, and dangerous adversaries with wealth and power. There is also a date at the Riverwalk and a late night drive or 2 in a Monte Carlo.
Ford, Cassie and Jenny just have each other. Will it be enough? How do they survive as Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World?
By going to the indiegogo, you can not only secure yourself advance copies of the book, special merch, and experiences, but you get to help provide copies to teens that live in shelters and seek resources in community centers. You also provide opportunities for ASL translators at our speaking events about this wonderful book. Go to the link, get your copy, and help others!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/be-part-of-the-hearts-of-glass-story-and-mission/x/38415051#
And while you do that,
Stay totally awesome!
Stay true to you!
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