A few moments ago I scrapped an article I had been working on for weeks. In the Members Only Patreon Page I talk about the cutting room floor. Back story of articles and what I included and did not include. At the end of this article I want to touch on why I scrapped a story and the responsibility of journalism, even in OP/ED.
September’s Top 3 Stories
In August we had a slip in growth for only the second time since we started Gen X Watch. That was to be expected as we reduced content frequency. But with the addition of guest writer and a new feature the total readership for the month of September rose a few percentage points over August.
This is, as always, paying attention to what the readers respond to and seeing this as a relationship. Your time is valuable and we always appreciate the time you spend here and want to keep it as interesting as possible without sacrificing our core values.
So let’s talk about your top 3 for September and an honorable mention.
#3: The Pen Pal
This article may have been number three, but it generated the most conversation in the comments on social media and the comments section of the article itself. It was amazing to hear so many people from my generations who had pen pals like I did back in the day. Some of the readers not only had fond memories, but they are still in touch with their pen pals decades later. That is amazing.
There was one parent who thought about how nice it would be to have their child have a pen pal, but had concerns about safety. Today’s original article was going to touch on that, more on that later.
#2 A Journalist Offers Insights
Guest columnist Ivy Guiler is extremely humble about her resume in the about section of her guest article. I will respect that. Ivy is a former journalist who has covered presidential elections, covered stories in spaces like Vietnam and other amazing things.
I first met her in 2010 when she was doing a story on me and some innovative outreaches I was a part of. We got to become friends. She edited a novella I self published during the pandemic. It was an honor to have her feedback and her name on the credits of my book.
She wrote an article that not only guided readers on how to fact check and choose their news services as an empowered and informed person. She also spoke about what journalism is, is not, and can be. It is partly because of her insights that today’s original article sits on the cutting room floor.
#1 is Fem Friday’s Winona Ryder!
Not only is Winona Ryder killing it at the box office with Beatlejuice Beatlejuice and on the award winning hit Netflix series Stranger Things, she won the hearts of readers at Gen X Watch. It wasn’t even close. Despite life’s setbacks, she has risen from the ashes with her kindness and honesty unchanged. But she also taught the readers about boundaries and being a mentor to the next generation.
In my own brief encounter with her on the set of Lucas in the 80s, I did not feel like “just an extra from a local agency”, I felt like a normal, albeit socially awkward teen spending a few moments with another normal and socially quiet teenager in a room full of too many people. It was fun to write about her and to see the power and beauty of how people responded to her in the clicks and the comments.
Honorable Mention to Miami Vice!
We not only had a Miami Vice piece I wrote this month hit number 4, but right on its heels was an article I wrote about Miami Vice back in June. In internet years, a written article that is over 3 month old on a blog platform is practically using a walker and reading AARP. But there it was. Miami Vice turned 40 this month and that was a driving force, but it was still fun to see an old article pop up for a mini comeback.
In both articles we talk about the significant social impact Miami vice had beyond pop culture.
Young Man in the News Room Learns a Lesson
When I was 17 years old I stumbled across a moment because of my love of cars. Two city officials from a nearby town I lived next to were in a local “massage parlor”. One of them loved to speak against the ills of places like that. I knew one of the official’s cars. It had to have been his car and he had to be in there.
I parked in a discreet spot, got my telephoto lens, and waited.
Sure enough, he and another important male figure in the community were exiting the “massage parlor”. I snapped a few shots of them leaving the establishment smiling.
A few moments later with my heart racing I was at a payphone by a fast food place calling the editor of a local paper. I had done a few shoots for him before. Town festivals and school sports, nothing like this. He told me to get to the paper’s office 2 towns over ASAP.
When I got there the film was developed and he called an all hands on deck meeting with his key staff members while I sat there quietly. I assumed I had the scoop and they were going to run the story front page! What happened next was not what I expected.
They spoke sincerely about the images. They spoke about the impact the photos with speculation could do to families and community and businesses. This included the massage parlor.
At the end of the discussion the editor in chief decided that the photos run depending on the commentary from the men in the photo. The first official the editor called just said no comment and politely ended the call. The second official made threats to the editor, the paper, and the mysterious photographer.
The editor decided he was he was going to the parlor in the morning with the photos and the story was running. He pulled me to the side and informed me, for my protection, he was crediting the photo as staff photographer. I was upset. I wanted the credit. He told me he was doing it for my safety since these were powerful men and I would be paid well for the photos.
The story ran with my photo in the next edition. The photo and story got picked up by two larger papers and the story even made local tv and radio leading to a resignation of an official. Lives were changed and there was a ripple in a community. As I saw it unfold I knew the editor in chief was right to leave my name out of it and I understood why they had the conversation they had in the office. I remember being at a friend’s house whose dad was a cop. He spoke of the story in anger not knowing the photographer was a 17 year old kid in his living room. Not knowing the threats his friend made to my editor.
The editor and the staff weighed the repercussions on lives as part of the decision to run the story. It is why I decided not to run the original story that was going to run today.
The Original Story on the Cutting Room Floor and Why
The original story that I have been working on for the last 2 weeks was going to be about how the latch key feral generation became the helicopter parent generation and the harm it has done according to peer researched journals to Gen Z youth. More harm than what many parents feared in their heads would happen despite the realities.
Why didn’t I run the story? I know some of our readers have special needs children with unique circumstances. I know some of my readers that are parents have experienced horrific tragedies that no parent should ever face.
Did my story have journalistic merit? Yes. Did the story have sources that were fact checked? Yes. Were my opinions well informed and above reproach? Again, yes.
But there was another side. Did this story apply to all families and children? No. Could innocent people be hurt by this story? Yes. I am not going to put children or victims in the crossfire to make a point.
The story was killed. As an op ed Gonzo journalist I punch up and not down.
What Did I Want to Say to Readers?
On June 9th of 2001 my child let go of my hands and took their first steps independently. Along the way to this moment, there were a few falls, faceplants, and tears. But the kid did it! It was bittersweet as it is one less thing they need me for. Over the years there were skinned knees, emergency room visits, hurt feeling, tears, failures, and a host of other things. I had to allow it to happen so they could grow and continue to let go of me and walk away.
It was when Harvey was old enough to attend school and ride a bike (Nov 4th, 2008 was the day I was no longer needed for bicycle riding) that I learned about helicopter parenting. How did I learn? I had a concerned parent call the authorities because I let Harvey go to the park independently. How did the police get involved? The “Karen” at the park with her kids tried to approach my child and ask Harvey where they lived and where I was. Harvey refused to answer her questions and when she persisted Harvey resisted, got on the bike and went to the fire department adjacent to the park to report it. She dialed 911 as soon as Harvey rode off. Part of the reason that Harvey and I did not have to deal with a larger issue is that we were calm and reasonable while the mother was not. Harvey had safety plans and she had hysteria about groomers and horrific ideas about what human trafficking is and is not.
Growing up Gen X I had periods where I was latch key. I knew what it was to be left to my own devices. Some of it was dangerous and others were just fine. Most of my feral experience involved baking cakes and then eating them with friends. But there was a time where I had two older kids pull a knife on me after an exchange of words. Never rode my BMX bike so fast.
I knew that I was not given the best examples of parenting when I was becoming a dad, so I subscribed to Parents magazine. I went to my local fire department and had them teach my how to put a car seat in correctly, I read books written by development psychologists, and I asked advice from good people I trusted. I stayed informed using all the research skills we were taught in grade school and in college.
A lot of what I taught Harvey was a repeatable 4 step process. Do it for them, then do it with them, then watch them do it, and then let them do it without me. This was crossing the street, riding the bike, doing math, playing games online and even standing up for yourself.
Along the way there were other students I had gotten to know. There was one, who by the time he was 12, had never crossed a street by himself. That same kid, I was an umpire at the park district little league. I made a call that did not go his way and the father disagreed and made threats of violence to me inches from my face. A few days later the mom was trying to ensure I was no longer an umpire while also trying to restore her husband’s ability to be on the grounds after he was trespassed.
It is normal for a parent to want their kid to not face harm and we want to protect them. But sometimes in that effort we imagine things that would not happen in an action film or horror movie. I get where that comes from too. Irresponsible mommy bloggers and some news sites and memes foster this panic.
We are five times more likely to be a conjoined twin than we are to have our child kidnapped. When you read that scary headline about how many children are reported missing every year, we rarely stop and learn what qualifies as a missing child. The kid who gets off at the wrong stop, the teenager who stays out too late with their friends, the girl who comes home and goes to bed and mom does not know she is home and gets worried and calls 911 before checking the bedroom. Any child missing for more than an hour is part of that stat. Of those tens of thousands of kids you see in that statistic, usually about 100 are what we think of as traditionally kidnapped.
Compare that to the 600 adolescents that are killed by motor vehicles. Once I learn that most of those deaths occur in non-metro areas, at non-intersection locations, and at night. Then I know that my child is far safer using a cross walk or intersection, pay attention, and if it is nighttime consider reflective clothing articles.
Online and stranger danger? The predators are going to target and groom the child who is isolated, neglected, and has no sense of self. Harvey and countless children know the three R’s and have been given common sense interaction from Netsmartz in regard to online behavior. A child that can stand up for themselves, cross the street, and empowered will be more likely to be less interested in what a predator has to offer. They will recognize, resist, and report. Unfortunately, the tactics some use to make their kids safer become factors that allow them to be less resilient and more prone to being a victim of predatorial behaviors.
This is the message I wanted to give. I get it, the world sounds scary and in some ways it is scary. Horrible and unthinkable things happen. Sometimes the presence of a parent is essential. We have an opportunity to raise children to not only navigate the hazards as safely as possible, but instill in them the ideas that we can all work together to make the world safer for all of us.
I sincerely hope nothing I said here hurt anyone, the longer article contained material that was unintentionally ableist and could have hurt others.
To say tens of thousands of kids are reported missing every year and we are all in danger will get clicks. But it encourages reactions that could further harm children. Giving the whole story is not sexy and will always get less reads, but will foster less panic. I wish we lived in a world where more people wanted to dig deeper instead of be afraid.
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