A Myth Grew Out Of Gen X: The Alpha Male

The concept of the alpha wolf is well ingrained in the popular wolf literature, at least partly because of my book “The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species,” written in 1968, published in 1970, republished in paperback in 1981, and in print until 2022. Although most of the book’s info is still accurate, much is outdated. We have learned more about wolves in the last 40 years than in all of previous history. – Dave Mech

What I want to get into today is a thing that I would say grew out of Gen X’s adolescence and has taken hold of the younger generation’s men—the mythology of the Alpha male. Much of the background for this idea comes from a 1970 book by Dave Mech—one of the world’s leading experts on wolves and wolf pack behavior. His research on the animals led to an adaptation among men that would grow into what is now the Andrew Tate concept of maleness in society. The idea that stronger wolves, the Alpha, stand out and dominate the pack as leaders is not actually true. The initial findings were updated by Mech himself when further research showed there was no competitive Alpha male, but that parents or breeding is what led to leadership amongst wolves. This is both male and female leadership, not a male that simply dominated the rest of the males in the pack.

In the 70’s and 80’s there was a response by men to the momentum that feminism gave women as they began to become more boldly independent. It also was an era when LGBTQ folks began to become more public with their identities. Gay became the punchline for any insecure man and that was a very Gen X development as many of us who were deemed weaker found out throughout our adolescence. Terms like fag were attached to anyone that wasn’t a stereotypical guy—this included artist, outcasts, and anyone that wasn’t deemed “normal”. I had many a locker smashed to my face and even worse. Being called “gay” daily even though I wasn’t led to a lot of anger towards men in general. The competition to be the top male was only driven by the insecurity that comes with a confusing teenaged existence. Yet, this alpha competition would lead to violence, misogyny, and extreme homophobia that would be backed up by popular culture. Movies portrayed a man as a tough guy who didn’t take shit, could fix anything, and preyed on weaker men. This was shown to be the best way to live if you wanted to attract female attention.

All the male characters on TV that were seen as the hot guys, or the real men were like this. Even if sensitive, they were only doing so to get sex or to woo a woman into their arms. The alpha idea became a common theme, portrayed in male culture as an iconic ideal. The 1980’s Reagan America first idealism perpetuated a view of masculinity that was dominate, wealth driven, and made the bully an idol. Donald Trump was the prime example of this idea, being a NYC playboy in the 80’s. The Wall Street bro mentality of get rich, dominate the weaker man, and ultimately get the hot girl was made the standard in pop culture. Misogyny was mainstream. All of TV was full of big men, swinging their big dicks, and getting rich while they did it. Women were portrayed as an accessory to the wealthy mans portfolio. Even when women were seen as successfully independent in TV or film, they often were given a romantic partner that was ultimately more dominant.

“However, the concept of the Alpha Male is indeed a myth, and it has been repeatedly debunked by scientific research. It is an oversimplified and inaccurate depiction of male social behavior. In many cases, the messaging around being an Alpha Male makes men feel worse about themselves.”- Tony Endelman Founder of The Integrated Mancave

In teen movies we were shown examples of Alpha vs Beta man math over and over. We saw the jocks and preppy boys dominating the geeks and freaks. Even when the nerdy kids were given the chance to win against the real men, the result was they adopted the same toxic masculine attitudes. The movie Revenge of the Nerds, which was one of my favorite movies is full of this Alpha/Beta competition. The movies seem to portray a group of “weaker” men, even one who is a gay Black man, as the heroes defeating the jocks using their quirkiness and brains. The problem is most of the storyline is based on that competition to lead to be entitled to women. Some extremely problematic scenes are part of that quest for male dominance of a campus. The moral of the story isn’t really about the equality of the nerds and freak kids, it is about how can the nerds and freaks get women.

Then there is the John Hughes universe that portrays the fairly accurate lens on teenagers in the 80s. There alpha mythology is throughout though Hughes does spotlight the ones who would be seen as betas. The hyper-masculine tension between Judd Nelson and Emilio Estevez encapsulates the toxicity of male attitudes in those times. Nelson plays an outcast who is known to frequent detention while Estevez is the stereotypical jock who is used to being privileged. The two exude terrible male stereotypes of insecurity turned into bravado, as is often the case. Both characters seem to be using their insecurities to excuse their behaviors that are very sexist, misogynistic and homophobic. The character played by Anthony Michael Hall, is a stereotyped nerd. A good student who is pressured by his parents to succeed but is seen by the other males (and women) in the film, as a weaker man. He is also outed as a virgin, which perpetuates et another myth—I’ll leave that for another day.

When Molly Ringwald defends home from the bullying of the other male character, she becomes the victim of ridicule. Later she is essentially sexually assaulted by Nelson’s character, which is used as a comedic moment. The end of the movie they all convince Hall’s character to write the essay that was assigned by the vice principle. Of course, this gives us the famous final voice over while we see the unlikely love connections between the cooler characters. Hall is left alone, which seems to suggest he’s not only a nice kid but a weaker virginal male with no chance with women. I always thought it was Hughes trying to portray a possible Queer character without saying so. To me, it is a story that clearly highlights the alpha/beta myths amongst teens.

Depicting the ‘friend zone’ as some kind of horrendous affliction cruelly imposed onto a scorned lover ultimately delegitimizes friendship, turning it into something secondary or “inferior” to being in a relationship. While it can obviously hurt to have your romantic advances declined, if such rejection makes you want to cut someone entirely out of your life, then clearly they deserve better friends (and you probably wouldn’t have worked out as a couple anyway). – Andrea Carlo, Huffington Post (November 30, 2018)

Let’s face it, there are plenty of bad examples of manhood that gave Gen Xer’s and Millennials a warped view that became the fuel for the Alpha male idealism. The often-worst examples were shown not in the obvious bullying jock, but in the so-called the beta boy “friendzone” mythology—portrayed by Duckie in Pretty in Pink. I think Duckie is a result of Hughes writing a Queer character but either not realizing he was or not wanting to push it. The result is maybe the prototype friendzone character that would reemerge over and over in American teen cinema. Often the result of this is a camp that adores the devotion or feels a severe sense of anger towards the woman that is desired for not choosing him. Sure, we love Duckie, but he was playing a game with his undying loyalty to Andie. His love was more infatuation fueled by his hatred of the rich cool guys that tormented him. His love for Molly Ringwald was based in competition not actual genuine love. His ridiculous gestures and unhealthy jealousy fueled his quest win her over more than any real friendship. That is a result of the very harmful male stereotypes and lack of focus on developing emotional intelligence as young adults. It also is in my opinion a direct result of the alpha male model because it is saying you aren’t strong enough to get the girl so you need to manipulate her in more clever ways.

It is all toxic idealism that surely came out of the Don Draper 1950s and 60s vibe of stoic entitled manhood. The Gen X version was less about suits and martini time, it was just sex fueled materialism. The idea of a man being a financial success, a womanizer, and an owner of things that create status. The Christian church pushed this idea of alpha male dominance with groups like Promise Keeper’s that used cherry picked biblical principles of breadwinners and spousal submission. The Christian Right also helped push legislation and other legal battles into the courts to limit women’s rights and punish LGBTQ folks in the name of family values. The underlying current though was protecting manhood from the feminization of society. This moved to combat feminism and queerness only increased in the 90’s and 00’s as mainstream media began to portray more and more women in leading roles along with more gay characters.

By the 2010’s and up to today, the toxicity of Alpha male mythology has gained more traction as many Gen X men began to get there voices online. This was either yelling in a truck on Youtube or having a podcast with other guys complaining about how men are being disappeared in this modern world. Ideas like “friendzoning” became a rallying cry amongst the growing population of incels. Many of these bitter rejected men turned to anger—some even violence. School shootings based on male loneliness and female rejection increased. Attacks on Queer people grew with many committed by so called Alpha males who fear the feminization of society is going to make them extinct. The use of the Gay /Trans Panic defense as a strategy when dealing with hate crimes committed by straight men against Queer people is an example of the level of fear amongst straight men in society.

Podcasters like Joe Rogan helped grow the Alpha mindset often having episodes dedicated to the defense of men in society. The focus on MMA or physical excursion in combat sports as a healthy male expression is one of the big focuses of Rogan’s whole mindset. While his guests often push more men’s health oriented using supplements or other wholistic methods of increasing testosterone to save men from feminization. Then there are the intellectual or academics that try to use pseudo-science as a method of proving men are supposed to be in competition. Jordan Petersen, a Canadian psychologist turned Alpha male icon, has been spreading the idea that the state of the world is tied to feminization of male society. He claimed Trump’s rise was directly attributed to male loneliness and thus a move toward fascism. Though he has often been challenged and his theories debunked, his following of mostly Gen X and Millennial men continue to grow.

“I’m deeply concerned by the dangerous ideology of misogynistic rape culture that Mr. Tate spreads.” – Jayne Butler, The Chief Executive of Rape Crisis in England and Wales- CNN (Fri June 2, 2023)

Then there’s the latest darling of the incel Alpha male community—Andrew Tate. Tate is a former kick boxer turned Alpha male influencer. He has gained enormous followings amongst Gen Z young men who are eating up his ideas about being a proper man. To many Tate is a cartoonish man-child swamped in the murk of his own daddy issues—Tate’s late father was a an absentee father. Tate has negative views of women, often saying his father wasn’t to blame for his leaving, that his mother was. His own sister has been the target of his vitriol. Tate spews rhetoric while selling his pep talks about being a proud misogynist online making him millions. Even in the midst of an ongoing sex trafficking and rape investigation, Tate maintains his loyal following. His cult of personality is giving way to new Gen Z influencers who push this idea that men should be dominant alphas and crush beta men. They also maintain the myths of the friendzone as a reason to no longer be kind or friends with women. Tate has even gone so far as to suggest women are for breeding only and pleasure should not be the focus of sex. This breeding mentality is shared by the likes of Elon Musk, father of 12 and another proponent of hyper-masculinity, who wants to increase the population of earth through men procreating with multiple partners. He also wanted to colonize Mars, but I’ll save that mess for another day. All these men are pushing a masculinity that is morphed from the 1950’s nuclear family into a capitalistic monster that is disturbingly quite popular amongst young men.

As we saw during the “Me Too” movements rise, men are often quite predatory using power to get what they want. The alpha mindset tells men that they are being attacked and women are lying to steal their wealth. This has created a new kind of misogyny that is focused on being either an alpha that women would want to cancel or a weak beta that women only see as a simp. This dichotomy creates a conflict in young men who are not emotionally mature enough to see beyond this dualism. They begin to hate women, viewing them only as objects or accessories for their status. Those who can’t achieve the millionaire womanizer level become incels that bash women for being greedy gold diggers. The rejection felt by young men is no longer a rite of passage—to experience heartbreak. It is a signal that Tate or other misogynists are correct. That women are out to get men. That Queer people are ruining masculinity. That “wokeism” is creating a weaker society that is hell bent on making everyone trans. These are the extremes of the reality that is being fed to our young people through these charlatans selling a gospel of man-childism disguised as true masculinity.

“Sexual violence doesn’t start and end with rape

It starts in our books and behind our school gates
Men are scared women will laugh in their face
Whereas women are scared it’s their lives men will take…”
From the song Mother – Idles

The MAGA credo of Make America Great Again is propped up by this idea that the left is pussifying the country. This is not just in America but overseas too. The idea that men can only fall into two camps, alpha or beta, has created a stupefied dualism. The men who buy into this, focus on their personal attributes, bragging about work ethic, and using anything opposite as fodder for the false accusations towards who they call beta. Those who feel weakened by this try to fight back against the bullying, but often turn their anger towards women. It creates a cycle of hatred, violence, and fuels much of what Donald Trump has latched onto as a plan for America. Everything from Roe V Wade being overturned to the huge push to ban transgender women from participating in women’s sports can be linked to this alpha myth.

The fear that is pushed about men losing their rights, which is mindboggling, as they are the ones who still hold most of the world’s power. Men, mainly white men, still control most of the wealth and power in the world. Women are still more likely to be victims of violent crimes, sexual assault, and other abuses from men. Men still are paid more than women and despite efforts towards equality there is many miles to go. The alpha male mythology is unfortunately backed up by enough influencers, tough guys, and podcasters to keep it believable to millions of men. The idea of therapy is often scoffed at by these types because they see that as feminine. They rather put on tiny shorts are wrestle each other in rather intimate positions or drink heavily whilst yelling at TV sports. The bullies from junior high who were exuding daddy issues are now adults who fester in their unresolved anger. The ones who don’t get help often become the influencers of the next generation, filling young men with sickening views on other men, women, and queer folk. This is a promoted cycle in much of the culture as men are buying the line that they are endangered. The ones who suffer really aren’t the so-called weaker beta’s who are still men—it’s the women and those who fall under the LGBTQIA umbrella.

So, next time a guy shouts about the alpha dog bullshit, you can remind them that they aren’t because it is just a myth. See if they bark a lot before retreating with their tail between their legs.

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